you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize