So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
