4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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