Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
