I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
