Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
