I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize