I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
