I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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