i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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