I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
