i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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