You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i already hear my dad disowning me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
