My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
