I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it glows. i had to have it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
