No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
