Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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