Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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