My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
