Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize