I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
