Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
