I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
