This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize