Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
