i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
