ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
