your thong is hanging out like whoa
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
