Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
