it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
