and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize