just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
