You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
