I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
