I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
