i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize