he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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