I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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