i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
