i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
