just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
