Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
