If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
