So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
