what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
