Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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