Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
