I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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