A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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