Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
