Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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