garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
