whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
