I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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