is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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