At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
