please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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