Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
