I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
why is half of my head shaved?
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