no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
