The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
