Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I didn't notice because vodka
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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