It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
