Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
