No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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