Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
